Miguel de Cervantes
Cervantes was a Spanish author who lived in the late 1500’s. This first part of this novel was published in 1605 and the second part in 1615. Cervantes was in the Spanish Army when he was young. Cervantes led a very adventurous life and had a lot of weird experiences like getting thrown into a Turkish prison. This book was written to make fun of books about heroes/chivalry and all that stuff. The "hero" in this book is a crazy dude who loses all of his fantasy "battles."
Alonso Quixano (Don Quixote): Alonso is a sweet older man who is absolutely nuts. He reads books about knights and starts believing he is a knight called Don Quixote de La Mancha. Alonso is his real name, Don Quixote is his fantasy name.
Sancho Panza: Sancho is a country hick. He is a short fat little man who rides a donkey. He goes along with Don Quixote (Alonso) as his servant. He knows Quixote is crazy but he pretends to be his servant because he thinks he’ll get money from the crazy old man.
Dulcinea: She is a chubby girl in town who is poor, but Don Quixote is crazy and thinks she is a beautiful princess. She doesn’t even know who the hell he is.
Priest (Curate) and Nicholas the Barber: They are Don Quixote’s friends. They wanna rescue him from his crazy ideas. They burn his books so he’ll stop reading and acting out fantasies. They try to get him back to town when he goes wandering out for adventure.
Alonso Quixano is this middle-aged crazy dude. He reads a lot of books about hero stuff and gets so wrapped up in them, he thinks he is a heroic knight. Alonso also thinks he loves this princess name Dulcinea. The girl he thinks is Dulcinea is really some girl in his town. He changes his name to Don Quixote, puts on some old armor, and goes out to find adventure. He is crazy and thinks that this group of guys is really a group of evil knights so he fights them, and gets his ass kicked. The town priest gets him to come home. Then the priest burns his books so he stops reading and acting out his fantasies.
Then Don Quixote finds some local dude (Sancho Panza) to be his servant on his adventure. They go out and get in all sorts of trouble. Don Quixote mistakes windmills for big giants and tries to fight them. The town priest knows Quixote is crazy so he tries to get him home. They tell him that some princess is in trouble and that he has to fight a big monster. The plan does not work. Finally they just put him in a cage and take him home. But Sancho lets him out of the cage on the way home. Then Don Quixote gets in more trouble because he attacks some religious group. Finally he realizes he is crazy and goes home.
CHAPTERS BY CHAPTERS
CHAPTERSS 1 – 2
CHAPTERSS 3 – 4
- Don Quixote wants to be dubbed a knight. He asks the innkeeper to do it. Even though the innkeeper thinks he is crazy, he does it as a joke.
- Don Quixote puts his armor in a water trough. A man comes to get water for his mules. Don thinks he is an enemy, so he starts attacking.
- The Innkeeper gets pissed at Don Quixote and asks him to stop.
- The next day Don Quixote leaves the inn and goes looking for some adventure.
- He sees a kid tied to a tree and an older guy whipping him. He gets mad at the man who explains that the kid was hired to watch his sheep and he did a crappy job so he deserves a whipping.
- Don Quixote tells him that if he leaves the kid alone Don will pay him. The man agrees. But as soon as Don Quixote leaves, the man starts whipping the kid again.
- Don Quixote sees a group of merchants. He wants to profess his love to Dulcinea, his fantasy princess. He tells them that they must say how beautiful she is or else he won’t let them pass. Then Don falls off his horse. The merchants start hitting him with his own sword.
CHAPTERSS 5 – 6
- Don is hurt and lying on the ground. He starts talking to himself. Some guy stops to help him.
- He helps Don get on his horse, and takes him home.
- Everyone asks what happened to Don Quixote and he tells them he got hurt fighting some giants. Then he goes to sleep
- Then the priest and the barber go and find the books Don Quixote read. Then they burn the books so he can’t read them anymore.
CHAPTERSS 7 – 8
- Don wakes up. His housekeeper burns the rest of his books. A bunch of people (including the priest and barber) plan to lie to Don.
- They tell Don that all of his books were destroyed by some magical guy who was riding a dragon.
- Don Quixote believes them when they say that a dragon destroyed all the books.
- Don wants to go back out and be a hero. Then he meets Sancho Panza, who is a fat little peasant.
- Don convinces Sancho to be his servant because he tells him that he’ll get rich.
- They leave together in the middle of the night. They travel for a bit. Don Quixote sees 40 windmills.
- Because he is crazy, he thinks they are big giants. Sancho is normal though and he is confused because Don thinks they are giants.
- Don tries to attack one of the windmills with his sword. But the fan of the windmill catches his sword and throws Don from his horse.
- After this Don thinks that the dragon creature tricked him by magically changing the giants into windmills.
- The next day Don Quixote and Sancho see some people walking. The people are monks. Don thinks they are a bunch of evil guys who have kidnapped a princess, so he tries to fight them.
- Don Quixote attacks a monk, while Sancho Panza tries to fight some other guys with them. Sancho gets his ass kicked.
- Then Don goes to the carriage to get the princess (just a regular woman, but Don thinks she is a princess). She has a boyfriend with her who is from Biscay. He gets pissed and fights Don.
CHAPTERSS 9 – 10
- The author talks about the history of Don Quixote. Cervantes says that he found some historical document that details the fight between Don Quixote and the guy from Biscay. (In reality, there is no history of Don Quixote, the author is making this up).
- Then the story resumes. Don wins the fight by complete accident. After Don kicks some ass, he goes over to the girl and tells her that he will do anything for her.
- Then Don Quixote and Sancho have a conversation. Sancho wants to learn how to be a knight.
- Don tells him that there is a lot of honor and crap to deal with. Sancho wants to be a knight because he wants money.
- Don tells him that it isn’t about the money. But for Sancho, being a knight is all about the money.
- They stop for the night and eat with some nice old shepherds.
CHAPTERSS 11 – 12
- Don starts talking with the shepherds. He makes a big speech about how great the old days were and the history of knights.
- The shepherds don’t understand what he’s talking about.
- Sancho pigs out at dinner.
- This young boy comes and plays music. Then Sancho falls asleep
- Sancho and Don hang with the shepherds.
- They hear that some shepherd named Chrysostom died.
- Then they hear the story about the girl he was chasing named Marcella.
- Marcella was this hot babe who dressed up as a shepherd.
- A lot of guys dressed up as shepherds and herded sheep just to get close to her. Marcella turned them all down.
CHAPTERSS 13 – 14
- Don Quixote and the shepherds go to Chrysostom’s funeral. They join up with some other shepherds who are going to the funeral.
- Some of the guys start talking about knights and the stuff they do.
- At the funeral some guy gives a eulogy. He talks about how Chrysostoms was a great guy, but he died because he was in love with an evil bitch.
- They want to bury his love letter to Marcella with him. But this guy named Vivaldo wants to keep them so other guys can see what a jerk this girl is.
- One of his love letter/poems is read aloud. It is a poem about him getting rejected by the girl.
- Then Marcella shows up. She tells everyone not to hate her. She tells them that just because someone loves her doesn’t mean she has to love him back.
- She tells them she is not a tease. Don Quixote sees her and goes off to find her. He wants to be noble and protect her.
CHAPTERSS 15 – 16
- Don Quixote and Sancho go to look for Marcella.
- They stop to eat. They see a bunch of guys with their horses.
- Don Quixote’s horse starts a fight with another horse. One of the guys starts beating Rosinante (Don's horse) and Don goes to kick his ass.
- Don and Sancho get their asses kicked by the big group of guys. The guys steal their horses.
- Don and Sancho are hurt. They go to the inn.
- At the inn, Don starts fantasizing again. He dreams up this fantasy that the deformed servant girl is really a rich princess he must marry.
- When he tries to talk to her, an employee of the inn starts hitting him.
- Then the employee runs to beat the servant girl up. She hides in Sancho Panza’s bed.
- Sancho is scared to find someone in bed with him so he starts rolling around. She hits him.
- Then the employee sees Sancho and the servant girl and starts beating Sancho.
- Then a police officer comes in and grabs Don Quixote. He yells "Murder" and everyone shuts up.
CHAPTERSS 17 – 18
- The police officer gets a light and sees Don Quixote. Don insults the cop, not knowing that he is a cop.
- The cop gets mad at hits Don with his light (lamp).
- Don Quixote fixes some medical drink that he thinks will relieve him. He drinks it, and throws up, and feels much better. Then Sancho drinks it and gets sick.
- Don and Sancho leave . The innkeeper wants them to pay. Don thinks he is a famous knight and so he is a guest at the inn. He leaves and Sancho stays to argue with the innkeeper.
- Some guys outside have some fun with Sancho. They put him in a blanket and toss him around.
- Sancho is pissed about the blanket thing.
- Then Don and Sancho leave. They see some big clouds of dust in the distance.
- Don thinks it is two armies fighting. Then the dust clouds come closer and it is just two flocks of sheep.
- Don attacks the sheep. The shepherds kick his ass and hit him with rocks. Then Don gets mad because once again he thinks the dragon creature tricked him by turning armies into sheep.
CHAPTERSS 19 – 20
- Don and Sancho continue to travel. Then Sancho sees a bunch of lights coming their direction. He gets scared.
- The lights turn out to be a funeral procession. Don stops them and asks them what they are doing.
- Someone yells at Don Quixote. Then Don attacks the guy. The funeral party leaves, but a priest falls off his horse. He tells Don he is a priest, and Don helps him get up.
- The funeral party leaves their food behind. Sancho grabs it and he and Don eat a big meal.
- Then they get thirsty. They go to a waterfall.
- Don hears some strange noises and wants to check it out. Sancho tells him not to.
- Sancho ties Don’s horse's legs together so the horse can’t move while they sleep.
- In the daytime they go check out the noises. It turns out be someone hammering. Sancho laughs at Don and Don hits him.
CHAPTERSS 21 – 22
- Don and Sancho continue to travel. They see a man.
- Don thinks the guy is a knight and is wearing a helmet. The guy is really wearing a bucket.
- He is a barber and he is wearing his wash bucket.
- Don attacks the guy. The barber runs away and Don keep his "helmet."
- Then Don sees some guards escorting some prisoners to jail. Don asks all of them why they are prisoners.
- After they tell him why they are prisoners, Don tells the guard to set them free. Then he fights the guard. The prisoners escape.
- The prisoners see that Don is crazy so they throw rocks at him. Then they steal all of his stuff and run away.
CHAPTERSS 23 – 24
- Don gets scared because he thinks the police will look for him since he freed prisoners.
- Don and Sancho go hide in the mountains. The leader of the prison gang is also in the mountains. He steals Sancho’s donkey.
- Then Don finds 200 gold coins and a poem in a briefcase. He gives the coins to Sancho.
- Then they find a dead mule. The shepherds tell Don about some crazy kid who goes around killing things. Don wants to find the kid and help him.
- Then the kid appears (Cardenio).
- Cardenio tells Don that he is the son of a Duke and why he is crazy and sad.
- He was supposed to marry this chick named Lucinda, but his father sent him to live with another Duke’s family, and that Duke sent their son (Ferdinand) to live with Cardenio’s family.
- Ferdinand is a horny guy who hooked up with some farmer girl (Dorothea) then dumped her.
- Ferdinand also hooked up with Cardenio’s love, Lucinda.
- Then Don and Cardenio talk about some book called "Amadis of Gaul". They argue about the main character. Cardenio gets mad and throws a rock at Don.
CHAPTERSS 25 – 26
- Sancho and Don travel further.
- Don tells Sancho to deliver a letter to Dulcinea.
- Then Don tells him that he is staying in the woods to repent his sins and do some weird things in the name of knighthood. He will get crazy and hit his head against rocks, and strip, etc. All of this in the name of knights and their lovers.
- When Don writes the letter he realizes that he really doesn’t know Dulcinea very well.
- Then Sancho tells him she is no more than a peasant girl. Don yells at him and tells him background is not important.
- Sancho leaves to deliver the letter
- Don goes into the woods to do his crazy repenting.
- Sancho stops at the inn where he got tossed in a blanket. He realizes that he forgot the letter, but he sees the priest and the barber there.
- They promise to rewrite the letter for him according to what Don said in the letter.
- Then they tell Sancho that they must get Don Quixote out of the woods and make him stop the repentance ritual.
CHAPTERSS 27 – 28
- The priest and the barber dress up in disguise. Then Sancho and those guys go find Don Quixote. They write a fake letter from Dulcinea.
- In the letter they say (from her) how Don must stop the repentance and come find her.
- Along the way they meet Cardenio. He tells them the rest of his sad story.
- When Ferdinand was living with Cardenio’s family, he hooked up with Lucinda. When Cardenio returned, Ferdinand sent him on a fake mission. When Cardenio was away, Ferdinand and Lucinda got married.
- Then they meet some girl dressed like a boy. She tells her story.
- The girl is Dorothea ( the farmer girl Ferdinand hooked up with)
- She tells them that Ferdinand promised to get married, but they never did because she was in a different social class. She has a letter to him telling him that her dad promised her to Cardenio already.
CHAPTERSS 29 – 30
- Cardenio tells her that who he is and that he will take care of her.
- Then the priest and barber tell them why they are there. Everyone agrees that Don is a nut, and should taken out of the woods.
- Dorothea has a plan. She will pretend to be a princess.
- So they all go find Don Quixote. Then Dorothea tells him she’s a princess and her kingdom is in trouble. So Don goes to help her. They take Don back to his own village.
- Dorothea tells him her name is Princess Micomicona. Then she tells him how some big monster (Pandafilando) took the kingdom away from her after the king’s death.
- She tells him she will marry him if he helps her. Don turns her down because he is committed to Dulcinea, even though he doesn’t even really know Dulcinea.
- Then they see a gypsy. It is really the leader of the prison gang in disguise. Sancho gets his donkey back.
CHAPTERSS 31 – 32
- Don asks Sancho all about his meeting with Dulcinea. Sancho makes up some stuff.
- Then he asks Sancho all sorts of questions about what she was wearing, how she looked, etc.
- A kid shows up. He was the kid that Don tried to save from getting a whipping by his master.
- The kid tells Don that if he hasn’t stuck his nose in the kid’s business, the kid’s master wouldn’t have whipped him even harder after Don left.
- The kid is scarred all over from whippings. The kid leaves and all of the people laugh at Don.
- They stop at the same inn they always go to.
- Everyone sits down for dinner. The innkeeper starts talking about books about knights and how he wants to become a knight. The priest starts arguing with him and telling him how stupid that is. The priest doesn’t want Don Quixote to become any more encouraged.
- Then the innkeeper starts reading some papers he found.
CHAPTERS 33 – 34
- The innkeeper starts reading the story in the papers he found.
- The story is about two friends, Anselmo and Lothario. Anselmo is married to this girl (Camilla) but he doesn’t trust her. So he sends Lothario to hit on her to see if she will cheat.
- Lothario falls in love with her though. Camilla rejects him. She writes a letter to Anselmo telling him what happened, but he tells her to handle it on her own (he still is testing her).
- Then Lothario comes home. He tells Anselmo that his wife is faithful. Anselmo sends him back out because he wants to be sure.
- Lothario sees a guy leave Camilla’s house. He thinks it is Camilla’s lover, but really is it the maid’s lover.
- Lothario tells Anselmo to come witness it, but then Lothario finds out it was not Camilla’s lover.
- He tells Camilla that he told Anselmo. She then plans to stab herself (knowing Anselmo will be watching). This will save Anselmo’s honor.
CHAPTERS 35 – 36
- In the middle of the innkeeper’s story, Sancho runs in and calls for help.
- They find Don Quixote fighting a blanket. He is crazy and hallucinating and thinks it was the big monster.
- Then they return to the innkeeper’s story
- Camilla tells Leonela (the maid) some dirty secrets. Then Anselmo catches the maid with some guy.
- Camilla is scared that the maid will tell her dirty secrets. Lothario hides Camilla in a convent and then he enlists in the army.
- Anselmo sees that his wife and best friend are gone and assumes they are gone together, so he kills himself.
- The innkeeper is done with his story. Then a man and a woman come into the inn.
- They turn out to be Ferdinand and Lucinda. Ferdinand sees Dorothea and how beautiful she is.
- Ferdinand dumps Lucinda and marries Dorothea. Everyone is happy and cries happy tears.
CHAPTERS 37 – 38
- Sancho sees that Dorothea is not a princess at all (They were tricking Sancho, too). He is pissed because he won’t get the riches of a kingdom.
- He tells Don how they have been tricked.
- Ferdinand tells Dorothea to keep pretending to be the princess until the priest and barber can get crazy Don back home.
- Some other people come into the inn. A man enters who just got out of some prison. Then they all eat dinner and Don Quixote talks about the importance of fighting and learning.
- Don tells them that scholars are better paid than warriors. They will have a guaranteed income, but warriors don’t get many rewards from fighting.
CHAPTERS 39 – 40
- Then everyone asks the ex-prisoner his story. He tells them that he was in an army, got captured and put in a Turkish prison.
- Then he tells them about some brave dude named Pedro de Aguilar. It is Don’s brother.
- The ex-prisoner guy (Zoraida) was made a slave in Turkey. He met some hot girl who was the daughter of a slave owner.
- Together they planned to escape. He wanted to escape from being a slave and she wanted to escape for religious reasons. So they got some money and escaped.
CHAPTERS 41 – 42
- On their escape, they got caught again. She was imprisoned with him. But then they escaped again.
- Then some pirates stole all their stuff. Finally they arrived in Spain.
- The guy is happy that his wife is still with him because she went through a lot of crap and now she is married to him even though he is poor.
- Everyone at the inn feels bad and wants to help them.
- Then some new people show up. It is a rich judge who turns out to be the ex-prisoner’s brother.
- Everyone goes to sleep.
- Don Quixote stays outside to protect everyone from monsters.
CHAPTERS 43 – 44
- Everyone wakes up to listen to some mule driver sing.
- Dorothea wakes up the judge's daughter to listen to the singing. The daughter (Clara) tells her it is not a mule driver. The man signing is some kid who follows her around and wants to marry her. They can’t marry because they are so young and the judge is a rich dude.
- The innkeeper’s daughter (Maritornes) who Don knows from before, plays a trick on Don. She calls him to come and gets him to extend his hand and then she ties his wrist to the door. Don is stuck there.
- Don stays tied to the door until the next morning.
- The next morning Don starts yelling because he is tied to the door. Maritornes unties him.
- These four guys on horses show up. They were hired by some rich guy to find his son.
- Then Don helps the innkeeper deal with some guest who wants to run out on the bill. He helps them out with words, and doesn’t fight.
- Then the barber (whose bucket Sancho stole) comes in with Don. The barber grabs Don and Sancho punches him in the nose.
CHAPTERS 45 – 46
- Don tells the barber it is a helmet. The barber tells him it is his bucket.
- Then they argue about the saddle Don stole from them. The barber thinks everyone in the inn is crazy.
- Then some guys enter and get in the argument. They are arguing over whether something of Don’s is a saddle or just horsepoop. (Crazy Don thinks horsepoop is a saddle… he is hallucinating)
- Then Don attacks some guys for lying in their argument.
- A guy then shows up and has a warrant for the arrest of the dude who set the prisoners free (that would be Don Quixote).
- The priest tells the cops that Don is mad and can’t be arrested. They want to take him back to his village where he can be cured.
- Then all of the arguments are settled. The barber gets paid for his bucket, the innkeeper gets paid for the blanket Don ripped up, etc. Everyone leaves.
- Don is put in an oxcart. They make a little jail out of it. They take Don back to his village.
CHAPTERS 47 – 48
- They go on their journey with Don in the oxcart jail. They tell Don it is not a jail but that they are transporting him back to meet up with Dulcinea. Crazy Don buys the trick.
- They meet some priests on the way. The priest and the barber tell them why they have Don in a jail cell and how he is crazy.
- The priests agree with them about how books can make sane men crazy, and get them to believe they are knights.
- They start talking about plays and one of the priests talks about how much they suck.
CHAPTERS 49 – 50
- Sancho talks with Don. He tells him that the priest and barber are fooling him.
- Don tells Sancho he is tired and needs to pee. Then Don tells him that they are not tricking him.
- They stop the cart and Don gets out so he can pee. Then Don starts talking about books about chivalry and knights with the priest. He argues that all of those books are not fiction and are actual historical events.
- Don tells the priest about the riches he will receive from a kingdom (the priest thinks he is crazy).
- Then a goat runs up by them followed by shepherds. They are yelling at the goat. Then he tells them a story to explain why he talks to the goat like a person.
CHAPTERS 51 – 52
- The shepherd says he has fallen in love with some chick named Leandra.
- He has a rival suitor named Anselmo (a different Anselmo).
- Leandra hooks up with some rich, fast talking guy. Then she is found in a cave, robbed.
- Leandra was sent to a convent, and the two suitors became shepherds.
- Don promises to find the chick. Then the shepherd calls Don crazy and they fight.
- Then a religious procession enters. Don thinks they are kidnappers so he attacks. Someone in the procession kicks Don’s ass.
- Eventually, they get back to Don’s village. Sancho Panza sees his wife.
- Don gets some rest.
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